So my mom is making meat sauce and bow ties for dinner tonight. She was almost done when she said to me, "Do you want to come and taste my sauce" TWSS.



(96 Laughs)

 

In our biology class we have a really annoying guy that loves to annoy everyone. One day he was sitting behind this girl and he started shaking the back of the seat with his legs on the book-holder. The girl told the teacher that he was shaking the chair and the teacher told her to deal with it, the girl replied "but hes doing it so hard and fast!" TWSS.

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(372 Laughs)

 

I was cutting up some food and realised i needed a knife. Not looking, I grabbed a random one. I looked at the knife and my mum said "oh its bigger than I thought." TWSS.

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(43 Laughs)

 

So the wife comes home with Starbucks. She hands me a cup and says "hey is that a grande? I paid for a grande but it doesn't feel like a grande." TWSS.

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(33 Laughs)

 

My friend and I decided to have a whip cream eating contest, we used aerosol cans, and halfway through my friend sprayed way to much and said, with her mouth full "AHH! It exploded in my mouth! But it tastes pretty good!" TWSS.

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(1302 Laughs)

 

I was at a friend's house, and we were doing a maths problem. I had finished it and was helping her out. After getting about half way through, she turned to me and said: "Am I doing this right?" TWSS.

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(12 Laughs)

 

My co-worker was complaining about the joints in her leg being sore after being involved in a car accident. I told her she should see a doctor to which she replied "I don't even know who I should go to...a bone doctor?" TWSS

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(28 Laughs)

 

We were opening a can, and the directions read, "Open package and insert here." TWSS.

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(56 Laughs)

 

The other day I was playing NBA 2k9 on Xbox Live. The person I was playing against picked the Lakers and decided to drive to the basket for a layup. When he went too far under the hoop and hit the ball on the bottom of the rim he said "Damn I penetrated too far!" TWSS.

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(86 Laughs)

 

My husband decided to be nice and make me a tuna sandwich for lunch today and made it on new wheat bread. When he brought it to me I said "That's huge!" TWSS.

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(13 Laughs)