I was working at Subway cashing people out when my co-worker was putting a persons sub into a "to-go bag". As he slipped it in there he dropped the bag to the floor. His ensuing response as he bent down to pick it up: "Don't worry, It's still in there ma'am" TWSS.
My girl and I were having dinner one night. As I opened a new bottle of orange soda, some fizz dispersed from the top, hitting my girl in the face, to which she said "Sure, just spray it in my eye." TWSS.
The other day my friend was telling me about her experience piercing her cartilage and she said "I put it in but then it hurt really, really bad so I pulled it out really fast." TWSS.
I was playing with my lacrosse team and my friend spat out her mouth guard saying "this thing is too big and hard and it makes me gag!" TWSS.
Yesterday, in social studies, my friend was trying to sharpen his pencil. The sharpener is used several times every hour so when he tried my teacher screamed "Thomas you have to push it in and twist!" TWSS.
A few days ago at camp I was playing baseball. A kid who is a little less mature was on second base screamed to the batter "Whack it as hard as you can." TWSS.
I was out at a bachelorette party having sushi. One girl was complaining that the pieces were too big to eat whole. Calmly I say, "its not as big once you get it in your mouth." TWSS.
I was out in the surf and a wave came my way, my mate yells out "deeper, go deeper! deeper!" TWSS.
It was the last day of year 10, and our year coordinator/P&E teacher explained that we needed to get all the information we could from the teachers that following year, He said suck them dry.. to which I replied "Then should we suck you dry?" TWSS.
While sitting at a table in the cafeteria I was playing with my friend's keys and jokingly threatened to use her pepper spray, she freaked out and said "If you squirt that in my face we are no longer friends." TWSS.