My husband and I ate a huge lunch. After waddling to the car, I sat back and reclined the seat. I said, "I'm just going to lay back while you drive me." TWSS

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(136 Laughs)

 

The other day, I was at a friend's birthday party and we had ice cream sundaes. When one girl walked away for a minute, someone ate the cherry from her sundae. She came back, saw that it was missing, and screamed, "Hey, who took my cherry?!" TWSS

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(91 Laughs)

 

I was working on the ballistics test for reinforced glass with my partner.
The shot was fired and then she checked the glass and yelled, "No penetration!" TWSS

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(109 Laughs)

 

I was listening to an Abandon All Ships song and there was this part when he said,
"Put the sauce in your mouth and swallow." TWSS

|



(77 Laughs)

 

My friends and I were trying a crane game to win a stuffed animal. One of them kept failing to get a stuffed bear and without thinking I said, "I think it's down in there too far." TWSS

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(57 Laughs)

 

I went to a full service gas station this afternoon. I got out of my car and grabbed the gas pump to add fuel, when I heard the gas station attendant say "Let me see that hose, I'll pump it for you. You just sit back and relax." TWSS

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(274 Laughs)

 

My friend and I were talking on the phone, while she was watching her brother put a string through the needle. Out of nowhere she screams in the phone, "He finally got it in!" TWSS

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(198 Laughs)

 

During class one day, one the the students decided to bring in a cake for her birthday. As she was cutting the cake piece by piece a student told her lick the knife off. So she said, "I'm not going to put it in my mouth then stick it back in!" TWSS.

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(187 Laughs)

 

Today in science lab we were using sand for an experiment. I got bored and dumped the sand out of the container and started playing with it. My teacher gave me an annoyed look so I started putting the sand back in. I said, "I'm putting it back in!" (TWSS) My teacher replied, "It wouldn't have been out if you hadn't been playing with it!" TWSS

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(161 Laughs)

 

The other day my friends and I were hanging out at lunch and one of them was eating a sandwich. She goes, "OMG, this tastes so good in my mouth." TWSS

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(163 Laughs)