in-out


Today I was getting a piece of pie. When I finished cutting it, I wasn't thinking because I was about to lick the (very sharp) knife and I said, "I almost put this thing in my mouth!" TWSS

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(38 Laughs)

 

I was in class and our teacher was droning on about the packet. Everyone was yelling and acting restless. Our teacher said, "Come on, settle down." After a couple minutes, everyone was quiet. She then said, "Okay, we only have half an hour and we have a lot to squeeze in here." TWSS

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(145 Laughs)

 

I was watching Grey's Anatomy. A guy got shot, so one of the doctors put their hand on the spot where the bullet hit him. Then one of the other doctors said, "She's got her hand on the hole!" TWSS

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(44 Laughs)

 

I was showering with my guinea pig the other day. I yelled cause it kept jumping out: "OMG you're so slippery! Just try to stay in!" TWSS

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(186 Laughs)

 

I was really thirsty and drinking water out of one of those Camelbak water bottles with the straw. I said, "I wish I didn't have to suck on it. I wish it would just shoot into my mouth." TWSS

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(243 Laughs)

 

Today at lunch a girl sitting across from me was eating a sandwich and said, "Man, that was hard to swallow. You know when you have way too much in your mouth, and it's really hard to swallow?" TWSS.

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(138 Laughs)

 

Two sisters came through my line at the grocery store I work at and bought a bag of fruit crisps. When one sister offered the other some of the snack she responded, "Oh no, I can't put anything more in my mouth right now." TWSS.

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(80 Laughs)

 

Yesterday I was helping my mom with putting her trash in a trash bag. We were having issues while she was trying to hold the trash bag open. I said, "You hold it open while I hold this and put it in" TWSS

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(107 Laughs)

 

I was taking my earrings out and it stung really bad and they wouldn't budge. Without thinking, I cried out in pain, "Damn! It's stuck in there good!" TWSS

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(81 Laughs)

 

Me and my friend were in a CPR class and we were learning the Heimlech maneuver, when the instructor told his partner, "Spread your legs, bend over, and remember, keep going until it comes out." TWSS

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(369 Laughs)