risqué


So today I was playing sand volleyball with some friends to enjoy our Friday. One of the girls playing was hit with the ball in the face. She proceeds to say, “I always seem to be taking it in the face.” TWSS.

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(87 Laughs)

 

I was reading Great Expectations and Pip said "everything about our intercourse pained me". TWSS.

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(58 Laughs)

 

I was in my 6th period history class and my teacher was talking about a skiing trip he took a while back and he was conversing with another student about falling in the snow he said he had done it many times and this is when he said "oh, man! I have never been so wet and sore in my whole life" TWSS.

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(63 Laughs)

 

Today, I was complaining to my friend about my mum buying pavlova, but not buying any cream. She responded with "I'll give you some cream". TWSS.

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(16 Laughs)

 

While at the post office today, I was talking to my mom about how she's always there mailing orders. She said, "I hope to come everyday because that means I make money everyday". TWSS

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(57 Laughs)

 

Last week, my mom wanted me to eat something I had never eaten before. I asked her how it tasted and she said "It's an acquired taste." TWSS.

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(13 Laughs)

 

I have just recently earned my drivers license and my sister was talking to me and the rest of my family reminiscing of when she first started driving. "I remember when Dad asked if I was ready to handle a populated road and I was heaps excited but when I came to the intersection, I pulled out too late and a guy came in my ass". TWSS.

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(133 Laughs)

 

One day my friend and I were discussing what pizza place we liked best, we determined that Little Caesar's didn't have enough cheese or sauce, then we went on to Papa John's. She said "There's just something about Papa John's sauce". TWSS.

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(42 Laughs)

 

I was eating dinner with my family and we were talking about the dentist office my dad goes to. At that office there are two dentists who are twins and my dad said he didn't know if both men had checked his teeth because they look alike and "it's not like they are both in your mouth at the same time." TWSS

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(40 Laughs)

 

My friend was in math class and was trying to get some gunk out of a button in her calculator. When the teacher asked her what she was doing she replied "I'm just trying to get this sticky stuff out of my hole." TWSS.

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(144 Laughs)