risqué


I was talking to my wife on the phone and she mentioned that she had just taken our dog out in the middle of a rain storm. Concerned his wet fur would ruin the furniture, I told her not to let him on the couch. She replied, "Don't worry, I blew him dry." TWSS.

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(700 Laughs)

 

I was walking a friend home one night and we needed to cross the street. The don't walk symbol was already flashing and said there were only 5 seconds left. I decided to go for it, grabbed her hand, and yelled, "Come with me!" TWSS.

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(35 Laughs)

 

I was watching the food network and the host was making mini doughnuts. After applying the cinnamon-sugar coating, she says, “and now it’s ready to pop in my mouth…mmm.” TWSS.

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(63 Laughs)

 

I was getting ready to kill a bug in my apartment last night and my roommate asked why I would want to kill an innocent insect. I replied, "do you really want it going into your mouth when you are sleeping?" TWSS.

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(154 Laughs)

 

My girlfriend and I were driving down the interstate. The road was really bumpy and making both of us vibrate just enough to make it irritating. Pretty soon it started making my seat shake a little and was making my ass vibrate. I turned to her and said, "I can feel it in my butt." TWSS.

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(201 Laughs)

 

A group of friends and I were on Bourbon Street in the middle of a terrible rainstorm that had been going on for hours. It was so bad that there was over a foot of standing water flooding the streets and sidewalks. Halfway through the walk back to the hotel, a girl in the group said, “I’ve never been this wet before.” TWSS.

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(595 Laughs)

 

It had been raining for hours one night and all of my friends and I were completely soaked. On the way back from the bars we were casually walking in the downpour and having fun in the water. Whenever we passed people huddled together under awnings trying to stay dry, my friend yelled to them, “You need to get wet!” TWSS.

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(82 Laughs)

 

I was walking to a club located just down the street and a female friend surprised me by jumping on my back for a piggy-back ride. I went with it and ran with her down the street. After sprinting for a block, she screamed, “I want to go down! I want to go down!” TWSS.

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(132 Laughs)