We were eating dinner the other night and my wife was getting annoyed by my son playing with his food, and she said, " Quit fingering it, and just eat it." TWSS.

Me and my friend were talking about the trombone and he said "It's not how hard you blow, it's all about technique." TWSS.

On "So You Think You Can Dance," judge Mia Michels told said to one of the dancers: "It was fast, it was hard, and you hit everything with perfect accuracy. I loved it." TWSS

I was camping with some friends and this guy was climbing a ladder on a playground when he looks up at me in frusturation and says "I can't spread my legs far enough to get on it." TWSS.

Last night I was talking to my friend Eme through Facebook, and the picture I had set as my default that day was one she had taken. She said, "Too bad I dropped your phone when I was clicking the button.. Sorry :/" and I said, "It's no problem, it's fine." She replied, "It was way too slippery, I had nothing to hold on to!" TWSS.

Me and some friends were driving around town and I was really thirsty so I was drinking a vitamin water. My friend who was driving turned around a corner really fast as I was taking a sip and I said, "Can you not drive like that while this is in my mouth? It's going to get all over my face."

My mom was telling my dad how if they ordered something for his motorcycle from China it would take about 2 months to get here. He was a little upset so my mom said, "But I've seen them come a lot faster." TWSS.

In my Spanish class, we had a test. We didn't have a lot of time left, so my teacher said "Let's do it orally, it will be faster." TWSS

Today my friend and I were going to have bagels and cream cheese for breakfast. We opened up the cream cheese and she was like "Why does it get all wet like that?" TWSS.

I was at the mall with a friend talking about eyeliner, when I asked about a specific brand. She simply responded, "Oh, yeah, it's the blackest one I've ever seen and it lasts a really long time." TWSS.