I work at an amusement park. Today at work, a father was talking to his son, giving him directions for when his daughter got off the ride. He said "Son, after she gets off, then you can leave." TWSS

So for our Relay for Life team last year, my team decided to tie-dye our t-shirts. At the Relay, people were talking to my friend about her shirt. She told them she wasn't able to make it the night we all dyed the shirts, so she didn't make hers. They asked her who made it, and she said "Everyone squirted a little in mine." TWSS.

Me and some friends were talking about tornadoes. I tell them "You know, from what I hear, they don't really suck. They blow." TWSS.

My friend's birthday was a couple days ago. He loves food, and when I asked him what he wanted, he said McDonald's. I told him I was going to get him a happy meal and asked him what toy he wanted with it. He said, "I don't care as long as it's fun to play with." TWSS.

The other day A friend was playing with his phone in class and the guy behind him started shouting, 'No! Put it away, you can't do that in class!" TWSS.

Yesterday, I was eating a cheese quesadilla for lunch and a bunch of grease spilled on to my lap, and I said "As soon as I squeezed it, it squirted on me." TWSS.

On the 4th of July, when my family and I were watching fireworks, we were waiting for the grand finale but it didn't come for a while. We were all sitting there waiting and then I said, "Normally there's a huge climax but for some reason it's not coming." TWSS.

I hate my dog and was complaining to my best friend about him. She then replied with "I know, he licks and licks and makes everything wet!" TWSS.

I was at my friend's house swimming, and my mom came to pick me up and was in a hurry. She said, "Come on, we have to go!" I said "ok!" Then she said, "Honey, come faster, I have to go!" TWSS. Then when I was ready I said, "Ok, I finally came. Are you happy now?" TWSS.

I was racing a friend, and I was running ahead of her. She was gasping for breath, and called out, "Slow down, you're too quick!" TWSS.