I went to a full service gas station this afternoon. I got out of my car and grabbed the gas pump to add fuel, when I heard the gas station attendant say "Let me see that hose, I'll pump it for you. You just sit back and relax." TWSS

I was reading a book called Fail Nation, and there was a picture of a sign that said "Behold, I come quickly." TWSS

Driving back from picking up a TV, I asked my friend if she had the cables to hook the TV up. She said she wasn't sure because "my box has got two holes and one is smaller than the other." TWSS

I was in a jazz choir class practicing the song "Such Great Heights" and the conductor stopped to tell the sopranos that she needed more from them on the "come down now" lyric. A girl who was struggling with singing the high note for "come" complained, "Ugh, but the come is soooo hard!"

I was in gym class and we were doing rock climbing. I'd just put my harness on and was adjusting it, but having some trouble. Then I put the rope on, tightened the harness, and it hurt. Without even thinking about it, I said to the boy standing next to me, "This hurts between my legs." TWSS

So me and my girlfriend's siblings were throwing out "That's what she said" stories for a good five minutes. I asked, "Is this ever going to stop?" TWSS

Big Band M.D. conducting a super fast piece: "My arm was KILLING ME by the end of that!" TWSS

One day, our Science teacher was going over the science safety procedures and walked over to the eye rinser and said, "Now you're going to get very wet, so you need to back it up a little." TWSS

My girlfriend said when really happy after something at school, "I am positively beaming, I swear my lips can't stretch any wider!" TWSS

I was talking to my friend in French and we got asked questions so I whispered to her "why do I always get the easy ones and you get the really big hard ones?" TWSS