I went to a full service gas station this afternoon. I got out of my car and grabbed the gas pump to add fuel, when I heard the gas station attendant say "Let me see that hose, I'll pump it for you. You just sit back and relax." TWSS

My friend and I were talking on the phone, while she was watching her brother put a string through the needle. Out of nowhere she screams in the phone, "He finally got it in!" TWSS

During class one day, one the the students decided to bring in a cake for her birthday. As she was cutting the cake piece by piece a student told her lick the knife off. So she said, "I'm not going to put it in my mouth then stick it back in!" TWSS.

Today in science lab we were using sand for an experiment. I got bored and dumped the sand out of the container and started playing with it. My teacher gave me an annoyed look so I started putting the sand back in. I said, "I'm putting it back in!" (TWSS) My teacher replied, "It wouldn't have been out if you hadn't been playing with it!" TWSS

The other day my friends and I were hanging out at lunch and one of them was eating a sandwich. She goes, "OMG, this tastes so good in my mouth." TWSS

i was in class and the teacher asked a kid to pull down the projector. He tried and she said, "Pull it harder. I mean yank it!" TWSS

Me and my friend were playing tug of war when he said, "Pull harder. It isn't as much fun if you don't try hard enough." TWSS.

Today my co-worker wanted me to get her some hot chocolate. After I got back, she tasted it and said she didn't like it. 20 minutes later, she was still drinking it and I asked, "If it's bad, why are you drinking it still?" Her reply was, "It feels good in my mouth, but I don't like the taste." TWSS

My dad picked out a Christmas tree the first year I was in our new house and I say "Wow that thing is so big it can touch the ceiling" TWSS

I was reading a book called Fail Nation, and there was a picture of a sign that said "Behold, I come quickly." TWSS